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Thursday, 29 May 2014

My Brother Brian

 Brian was almost exactly 4 years younger than me, minus 4 days, and although through the years we hadn't been close, for which I was always sad.  We went to see him in February and I found it quite extraordinary how alike we are.  I suppose I should have expected it as we shared the same parents but siblings aren't always alike.  We look alike and were very alike in so many ways.

I had known my brother has been dying for quite some time.  He was given 3-6 months almost 6 years ago when he was told he had stage IV cancer and had had it for at least 3-5 years before it was discovered quite by chance.

Like me, Brian believed in finding a doctor who was proactive rather than being reactive and such doctors aren't so easy to find.  But he managed to find one that kept him alive for almost 6 years.

The growth was on the outside of his stomach and he decided to go an unusual route insofar as after interviewing quite a few Oncologists he decided on an Oncologist who specialised in Pancreatic Cancer as this Oncologist gave him the best chance of a cure.

But his route was not an easy one as the treatment was for Pancreatic Cancer and not Stomach Cancer so his insurance company refused to pay for it.  Brian paid for it himself for the next 5 years at over $1,000 a week.

A year later when he was in hospital having half his stomach, and the tumour, removed the nurses couldn't figure out why he was so happy. He explained that this was because he was still alive when he shouldn't be.

Because of his determination in beating this cancer and the route he took this medication is now funded by insurance companies in the US for Stomach and Bowel cancer as well as Pancreatic.

I'm sorry if this email is disjointed but I couldn't read it and put it together properly because my brother passed away last Friday and was buried on Sunday as our religion dictates.

Brian you beat the odds.  You didn't just last 3 or 6 months but almost 6 years.  You fought long and hard until the very end.  We came to see you in February and we spent every day with you and Sue (your wife) and my nieces and nephews and great niece.  It was the best time we had ever had and I will always remember it and be grateful that I came to see you when I did.

Brian Michael Lemberger you were one very very special person that touched many lives as the Rabbis said at your funeral and my life a life.  I respected you as man, as a brother, husband and a father.

I miss you my brother and will until the day I die

Pat xxx
American by birth and MOUTH
but British in every other way

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18 comments:

  1. Lots of hugs, Patti. Your brother sounds like he was a real fighter and a special person. I'm glad you got that last visit in. So sorry for your loss.

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  2. My heart goes out to you, Patti. What a moving tribute to your brother.

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  3. Patti, I am so sorry for your loss.

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  4. I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, Patti. I'm so glad for you that you were able to spend some good time with him and I'm encouraged by your hope. Hugs to you.

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  5. So sorry for your loss Patti. It sounds as though your brother has left quite a legacy :)

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  6. Sweet friend...I am praying for you...I love you.

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  7. My sweet friend...I am praying for you...I love you..

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  8. gosh, that was an impressive survival time given the initial prognosis. It must be very frustrating with cancer treatments as to what will or will not be funded - you hear similar things here in the UK where the NHS decides what drugs are affordable. I'm glad you all got to meet up before he died and can hold on to those memories x

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  9. Thanks for one's marvelous posting! I certainly enjoyed
    reading it, you are a great author.I will make sure to
    bookmark your blog and will come back later in life.
    I want to encourage that you continue your great work,
    have a nice evening! Obat aborsi

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  10. Wow Patti. How joyful to have gotten the gift of that time with him. Never estimate the power of the human spirit to defy the odds with a great attitude and a zest for life. Sending you a hug from NJ

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    Replies
    1. Hi Mare

      Sorry I couldn't reply to you directly but I don't have your email address and no way of getting it. Thank you so much I really appreciate your words.
      Patti xxx

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  11. Sending love hugs thoughts and prayers your way.
    If you were as alike as you say I'm sure he was an incredible man.

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  12. Treasure the memories, your telling of your brother's story will no doubt encourage others. Praying the hole in your heart left by his loss is filled with the love you shared.

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    1. Hi,
      Thank you so much for your comment. I'm so sorry I couldn't email you privately but I couldn't get your email address.
      Patti x

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  13. I'm so sorry for your loss but your post made me very happy for some reason. There was a bright lining in that sad tale of cancer and I'm sure that you and your brother became closer over time. My two sons barely speak to each other and I'm thinking I ought to send both of them a coy of your post. Thank you and God Bless you!

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  14. Thanks for one's marvelous posting! I certainly enjoyed
    reading it, you are a great author.I will make sure to
    bookmark your blog and will come back later in life.
    I want to encourage that you continue your great work,
    have a nice evening!

    ReplyDelete

I absolutely LOVE it when you leave a comment and I read each and every one comment and try to reply to you all.
Patti xxx